I know that many of us feel a lot of pressure to create a perfect holiday for our kids. If I see one more “helpful” reminder that we only have 18 Christmases I’m gonna lose it. Those are not designed to inspire you or help – those messages are designed to make you feel bad and spend more.
Let’s start with Thanksgiving. Since moving far away from most of our family and friends, Thanksgiving has become kinda my holiday to execute. It is my hubs favorite so for the most part I don’t mind, but I’m writing this on November 10th and I’ve already been prepping for Thanksgiving for over a week.
What has he been doing? Thinking about what he wants to eat. Whose fault is that? mine. If I asked him to do something he would do it, but I have internalized the burden of Thanksgiving as mine – success or failure. We won’t discuss the raw Turkey breast from last year (in my defense it was an oven issue and not lack of planning – really). He has already bought me a countertop convection oven to help carry the load this year.
Living the mom life in is not easy.
I digress. There’s a lot that goes into executing a Thanksgiving Day feast. Prepping for the day, cooking, cleaning, and making sure things are just right can really take its toll. The people (usually women) can wind up feeling a whole lot more stressed than blessed by the end of the day. I usually don’t even eat much because I’m so over it.
This post is to help you make the holidays whatever you want. They may look totally different or very traditional. Staying grounded in your reasons and a little positive affirmation will help you decide.
My Secret Weapon – Holiday Mantras
Stress less reminder- Look for areas where you are feeling truly blessed. Thanksgiving isn’t about food, it’s about gratitude. Celebrating the holiday without reminding yourself what you have to be thankful for would be a waste.
This may be a stretch this year but I bet that you can find something to celebrate. When we focus on the things we are grateful for our stress and worries decrease. You will always have time to be overwhelmed later.
Holiday Mantra: I can choose to focus on positive outcomes from my circumstances
Stress less reminder- Don’t let prep get out of hand and stress you out. If you are lucky enough to have visitors this year they probably don’t care how clean your home is. Fight the urge to overclean which can lead to the urge to redecorate, paint walls, and more (that is way more about you than them). Most people won’t notice dust bunnies or some clutter.
Stress less by doing what you can before your gathering and not worrying about what you can’t get done. If the meal is great and the company is fun, what more can you ask for?
Holiday Mantra: I am good enough just as I am.
Stress less reminder- Cherish real connection with the people you love and if there are those that aren’t your favorites at the holiday gatherings – that is why wine was invented (joking mostly). If you rarely see family outside of the holidays be sure to soak up as much time with them as you can and choose to ignore topics that you can’t agree on.
Try to resist the need to convince someone of your political convictions (that is probably more about them than you). Try to remember something you loved about them before politics became such a family divider (although please don’t be willing to ignore things that are beyond normal – racism and misogyny come to mind). You might even plan how to address any topic that comes up that you feel should be addressed by making it clear your feelings about the issue in the most adult way possibly.
Holiday Mantra: I am choosing to love with an open heart.
Stress less reminder – Prioritize your time by letting go of chores, expectations, and duties that prevent you from staying connected. When it’s all said and done, people won’t recall what you fed them for the Thanksgiving meal, but they will remember how you made them feel when you were together.
Holiday Mantra: I am here with people I love that love me.
So much goes into planning gatherings that it can cause stress when it should cause joy. Stress less by reminding yourself of what matters most and soaking up the friends and family time that accompanies Thanksgiving. Be careful to remind yourself that you’ve got a lot to be thankful for, people truly don’t mind a messy house, and life’s short…love people.
More Stress Less Holiday Mantras
- I relinquish control of the need to do everything.
- I let go of the thought that everything depends on me, and freely pass on the responsibility to others. When I do, I feel a heavy burden lifted from my shoulders.
- At home, I let my children handle some of the chores. This teaches them responsibility and lets them feel like an integral part of the family. I let my spouse handle whatever he will and am pleased with the outcome of our teamwork.
- I delegate tasks efficiently by letting those best qualified for the task to lend a helping hand. This gives me more time to focus on the tasks that I must do myself. As a result, we work as a team on the job, output higher quality work, and I do not have to do it all myself.
- I know that most of the time someone else will not do a task in the exact same way I would, but that does not mean that the results are sub-par. In fact, I find that if I back off and let them be in control of their delegated task, they produce fine work.
- Letting go of the need to do everything gives me more time to do what I really want to do. I can take the time to relax and take better care of myself. I can rejuvenate my energy and focus on the things that are important to me.
- Today, I am free of the stress that comes with trying to do everything myself. I happily let my spouse, children and others take on what they can, knowing that all will be well.
If you need additional support, consider scheduling a call or attending a workshop.
